Sir

2008-07-15T14:00:07Z

Writing, i have joked before, is a hard limit of mine. It is something that does not come easy to me. Yet i often feel i have something i need to write, but feel unable to express it in a proficient manner. It was suggested to me that something i have been struggling with (other than writing) might make a good "first blog" subject on LJ. So here goes my attempt at making some sense of it.

There are many words around us that we often use incorrectly. Sometimes by mistake, sometimes intentionally, but we jiggle them till they fit our purpose. i am partial to a bit of jiggling myself, if i am honest. There is one word however that i am having a really hard time over. That word is "Sir". i am not talking about Sir Percy Oswald, or even Sir Bob Geldof type of Sir. i am referring to the "Sir" that people who are involved in, or have interest in the BDSM lifestyle use to refer to a male Dominant/Sadist or Top.

There was a time that i had no problem using this word. i never used it willy nilly. i did not call every dom, dick or horny that gave themselves a capital letter or named themselves Lord Sir His Majesty Kneel Before Me Bitch Uber Dom, "Sir". i really couldnt bring myself to, even though at the time i was still separating the wheat form the chaffe. This inevitably caused some fluttering of wings in the "sub circles" as i was obviously being heinously disrespectful. Does this look like a face that is bothered? no it does not.

To be honest, i was polite, capped their names, even did the vomit inducing "Y/you, A/all, A/arse malarky, till i woke up one day and thought "chuff this!! my fingers are too short as it is to wear them down typing stuff twice!!" Now all the above stuff only ever applies to online chatrooms and forums. It's a sort of protocol that applies should you wish to be accepted in some rooms, which i did for a spell. It was all very important to me for a while as it introduced me to a few really wonderful people who made me realise that there were many others out there just like me. Finding my feet in an internet chatroom gave me the courage to go out and begin attending munches and clubs.

Now i know within myself how long i have had feelings of submission. It goes way back, WAY back. i just never knew what it was, and i have to admit i thought i was a little ( read that as a LOT) crazy, and had most likely been reading too many erotic/sci fi/Gor books in my teens. But i digress, now there IS a surprise. (see, i even still refer to myself in the lower case..i am still not yet cured of that!!)

i have never once seen a sub/slave/bottom calling a Dominant/Sadist/Top "Sir" at a munch nor even in a club. i am sure it happens, but i just havn't seen it. At munches it all is very casual and on first name basis. You don't throw in a "Sir" with every sentence you utter. In interactions between Owner and property, it was always "Master/Mistress" i feel sure i am missing something, but the word "Sir" has become so diluted to me now that i find myself struggling to use it at a time when i really need to show how much respect and honour i have for someone. Furthermore, having spent a several years calling one highly respected "dominant", "Sir" and eventually "Master", when i found out how little this man truly knew of submission, how little he had come to understand it, how little feeling he had for the person/property behind the collar, i became so much more disillusioned with honourific titles than ever.

The man in question, to whom i wish to be respectful, was the one who suggested i write this blog. At present he is tolerant of me using his first name. i take this as a huge privilege and adore using his name. It feels arsetinglingly intimate. He has told me that there is no point in me using a title to him that has no meaning for me. He is of course correct, ( he usually is correct in most things) However i am left with a nagging worry that he may feel i don't respect him because of it. i wouldn't disrespect him, nor his slave for the world.

Sorry this is long and with no real resolution.

raphaella_d

Sir